what having a baby taught me about my marriage (wedded wednesdays guest post)

{We need to get talking about what marriage really looks like. In that spirit, we chat about it here once a week, on Wedded Wednesdays.} 

Melissa and I work together on our weekly Create.Compose.Communicate e-newsletter and she’s become a dear friend. When I heard the news about her baby girl, I was overjoyed. This week, Melissa shares a bit about how parenting changed her marriage.

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It’s 2:46 am. Scott changes Evelyn’s diaper. I sit in the glider and wait for him to hand her to me for a middle-of-the-night feeding.

“Thank you,” I whisper as he slips out of the nursery and back to our room.

Our daughter was born on August 14. In the five weeks since that day, my husband, Scott, and I have learned so much about taking care of a newborn.

But I’ve also learned so much about our marriage.

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They say a baby changes things, and oh boy, Evelyn has totally changed our lives. You hear plenty of warnings and doom and gloom, a lot of “just wait” and “have fun while you can” during pregnancy.

I have to say, I’ve seen changes in how Scott and I interact, but you know what? They have been amazing and wonderful changes.

We’ve been knocked out of our easy routine and now we have to work hard. We have to work together. We have to be a team. And I’m so thankful that it’s been a natural transition for us as a couple.

We’ll have our bad days, but the good news is I don’t feel like we’re keeping score. We’re simply helping each other as much as we can—taking care of the baby, making meals, doing laundry, running errands, supporting one another, giving and caring and loving. We’re looking at parenthood from the perspective of being partners in this crazy adventure.

It’s certainly a blessing, but honestly, being a parent and raising a child is probably the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. I’m glad I have someone to share the journey with, all the ups and downs.

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When she’s crying, we play tag-team and take turns trying to soothe her. We wonder aloud to each other, does she need a diaper change? Is she hungry? Maybe it’s gas?

When she’s awake and alert or sleeping in our arms, we marvel at her facial expressions, the way she moves her tiny limbs, her delicate features. We look at this beautiful miracle who is half me and half him.

And every night, as we climb under the covers, with Evelyn in her little sleeper right next to our bed, we make sure to kiss each other good night and say I love you, to share a few words, just us two. Because it’s a commitment we made long before our baby arrived, this commitment to each other. For better, for worse.

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Melissa Tydell is a freelance writer, content consultant, and blogger. As owner of Melrose Street Custom Content, she writes for magazines, websites, and businesses, as well as consults with creative entrepreneurs and small businesses to help make their content amazing.

Melissa is happiest with a big stack of magazines and a full bookshelf, some homemade sweets, a cup of coffee or a glass of Champagne, and plenty of time with family and friends. You can connect with Melissa through Twitter @melissatydell.

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4 thoughts on “what having a baby taught me about my marriage (wedded wednesdays guest post)

  1. I love this! We had our baby girl August 13th and I think she has made our marriage so much stronger already! It’s definitely a game changer, but so much better than I could have imagined!

  2. What a testament to your marriage and commitment to each other. Evelyn is lucky to have you two as parents because the best gift you can give to her is to love each other!

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