wedded wednesday guest post: how was your day, honey?

{We need to get talking about what marriage really looks like. In that spirit, we chat about it here once a week, on Wedded Wednesdays.} 

Sarah Martin was the first “real blogger” I connected with, mere months into my own blogging. She took her writing seriously, but she was also kind and thoughtful . . . and SHE took the time to talk to ME! Holy whoa: I was humbled and flattered. Still so grateful for Sarah’s friendship and encouragement.

Sarah writes about talking, listening and really understanding what your spouse does during the day. Admittedly  Mr. S. knows exactly what I do — he does my bookkeeping, after all — but the minutiae of his work often feels beyond me. But to understand, to listen, to learn . . . well, that’s real love.

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Eleven years of marriage doesn’t make me an expert by any means. I do many things wrong when it comes to being a wife…

  • I’m not the greatest nor the most consistent cook.
  • My side of the closet looks like a hurricane struck with full force while his side is pristine.
  • I get over-emotional about things, which sometimes leads to unnecessary arguments.

That said, eleven years of listening and studying does make me an expert on my husband, though. One thing that I’m very proud of about my eleven year marriage is that I know what makes this guy tick. I also know quite well what he does for work for this is something near and dear to his heart.

Do you know what your honey actually does all day long?

So many wives really can’t answer this question. They could tell you where he works but not what he does exactly. To me, this is a symptom of lack of communication and a lack of sharing what is important in each of our lives.

Given that work is an integral hub in the wheel of life and probably one where he finds pride and fulfillment, what does it say to him if we care not to inquire about his day? What is important to him doesn’t really matter to us as the wife?

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Talking. That is something that women do really well. But are we able to listen well, too?

If you are anything like me, you love to talk and relate to others. We easily do this all day long with our girlfriends. Women just know how to converse with each other –– it’s like we speak our own language. With our husbands, conversations might look a bit different.

Some women might complain that their husband doesn’t really like to talk at all. I challenge that. Would they open up if we spurred on conversations surrounding what matters most to them . . . like work?

Tonight, when each of you connect after a long day of work, I encourage you to use this five word question: How was your day, honey? Then…just listen and study and relate. By making this a daily practice, I promise that your level of communication and connection to your honey will improve dramatically.

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Sarah Martin, the non-expert on marriage, loves just hanging out with her husband. Date nights usually include making homemade pizza and watching movies like X-Men and The Bourne Identity. Sarah is the author of Stress Point: Thriving Through Your Twenties In A Decade Of Drama. Read more from Sarah Martin at www.liveitoutblog.com

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2 thoughts on “wedded wednesday guest post: how was your day, honey?

  1. This is such great advice. I know what my husband does and we discuss his daily doings, but it doesn’t mean I understand it. There’s a reason I’m not an Electronic Engineer.

    • Oh Lisa!! Amen, sister! Mr. S. is a geotechnical engineer . . . tough to pronounce, let alone understand! I like to think of it as scientist meets math guy meets little boy playing in the dirt . . . but I know I’m off base, haha! Time to have a serious conversation with him about what he really does.

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