wedded wednesday: surprising things about being apart.

{We need to get talking about what marriage really looks like. In that spirit, we chat about it here once a week, on Wedded Wednesdays.}

wedded wednesdays image 2

There’s something I haven’t told you, friends. Mr. S. and I are apart more often than I’d like.

Most of the time, it feels like quite the “first world” problem, if we’re being honest. Woe is me because my husband has a full-time job? I almost feel guilty saying so. Woe is me because Mr. S. is pursuing his calling? Yikes. I hate to even type it, friends.

Reality, though, intervenes. He travels frequently for his job. That distance can make marriage difficult. What should you do when your spouse travels? How do you handle it when your spouse travels? I’ve Googled all the key words and key phrases, y’all. The Internet brings quick fixes for big struggles . . . not the solution I seek.

world map

He’s been away for a few trips in the past few months. When he accepted this position, I thought I knew what these trips would entail. Really, I’ve been surprised in many ways. Being apart has opened these eyes and opened my soul . . .

Being apart brings me closer to God. Truly, and I’m not playing the holier-than-thou card. God has been amazing to build bridges in Mr. S.’s absence. I have to rely on Christ when I can’t rely on my husband; this alone forces both of us to rest in Christ instead of each other.

Cliches make me nauseous. But as much as I hate to admit it, absence has really made my heart grow fonder. When Mr. S. is travelling, I forget what frustrated me and remember what I treasure. And there is so, so much to treasure. I love that guy.

Furthermore, when Mr. S. is travelling, we’re both brought closer to community. I find myself pleasantly surprised and joyfully overwhelmed by the generosity of friends. Many  have prayed with us, hosted us, called us, texted us, responded to our texts, emailed us, visited with us, checked in on us . . . the list goes on. He isn’t an island and I’m not an island. Both of us are part of the greater whole. Nothing like travel to bring this to the forefront.

Location doesn’t matter as much as heart does.

Life isn’t meant to be lived in isolation. Marriage isn’t meant to be lived in isolation.

Thank you, friends, on behalf of everyone who travels or who has a spouse who travels. And love, love, love for those who travel or whose spouses travel. Marriage is hard enough in the same setting, yes?

I could pull an anecdotal solution card or something. But that would be like suggesting a store-brand band-aid for an open wound: okay for the time being, but inappropriate and ineffective for the long haul. So this is where we rest in Christ.

Are you there too? If so, how do you work through the distance? I’d love to hear about it.

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3 thoughts on “wedded wednesday: surprising things about being apart.

  1. My husband and I started our relationship long distance, and he is still deployed every year for anywhere from a couple weeks to four months at a time. I can testify to the fact that long-distance can make your marriage strong, if you let it.

    It teaches you to love intentionally and well, to let go of the little things and keep your eyes on what is important, and to communicate clearly in ways that take nothing for granted.

    (Incidentally, the only quick-fix I’ve ever found worth it’s salt is to get a dog… we both sleep a lot better when we’re apart knowing I’ve got a furry body guard co-opting my husband’s pillow.) 🙂

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