wedded wednesdays guest post: what happens when it rains on your wedding day.

{We need to get talking about what marriage really looks like. In that spirit, we chat about it here once a week, on Wedded Wednesdays.}

Do you remember the weather on special days in your life? I do. The day we got engaged had a warm afternoon and a cold evening. It was cold and overcast on our wedding day.

And my sweet friend Victoria remembers the weather on her wedding day too: rainy. But life is about learning to dance in the rain, yes? Victoria’s heart simply overflows with love: for her husband, for her marriage, for her life. So grateful to share Victoria Doyle’s story today.

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When my husband asked me to marry him a month into our relationship, I got a lot of advice. Good, bad, ugly.

A few of our close friends and family understood; they knew us well and agreed there was no other people on the planet so suited for each other. I agree. To this day, I don’t believe I could live a single day for the rest of my life without kissing his sweet, bearded face.

victoria grace 4

Others disagreed, they told us we were not ready. (side note: this may be true, but I will hold tight and fast to my belief that no one is ever ready for marriage. Just like babies, if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never be ready.) Mostly, though, the impression I got was that people didn’t think what we have could really exist. That this mad, fierce, joyful love was only offered to a few couples in a lifetime. We were not one of them because our story was different. I feared for so long this was true.

I took all this advice and tried to wrap it up with a big shiny bow and hold it to my ear and listen diligently. But I couldn’t let go of my fear that what we were experiencing wasn’t going to last. Was I wrong in my thoughts and feelings? Could I have been mistaken that two people can be so meant for one another that it literally hurts when they’re not together? Surely my husband-to-be was the one I’d live and die next to. Surely my husband-to-be would be my father-to-be in the future and eventually we’d sit and rock on the porch, watching our babies roll around in the grass.

Surely there is a better picture of marriage than the one presented in society today.

Be prepared for the storms, they said. It will rain because that’s what happens when you’re married. You need more than love to make a marriage work.

victoria grace collage 1

Can I tell you something? I wish someone had told me that the only thing you need in a marriage is love. Marriage is gritty. Marriage is 100% about growing up and leaving bad habits behind. Marriage means that you have to live with and love another person’s annoying habits and somehow make them beautiful. No one shares with you how your husband will be the only one to get dressed when you’ve got a fever and find what will fix you in the middle of the night. My wedding shower didn’t come with advice about when I had anxiety in moving, finding a new job or adjusting to life in marriage that my husband would be the one to hold my hand. Nobody shared with me how when I was homesick for a week straight, my husband would climb into my bubble bath fully clothed and hold me while I cried. And surely, no one told me that when we had joyful moments, fluttering hearts and laughter encasing us after those harder moments, that we would meld together like glue. That you will feel loved and you will be more than enough.

All of this makes the heart of life, fleeting moments that do indeed exist and are very real. This grit is what makes us who we are. Grit makes us beautiful and strong and kinder to others. Marriage is nothing like you think it will be, because a healthy, happy marriage based on unconditional love alone is everything you never knew you needed.

victoria grace 6

And so when it rained, quite literally, on my wedding day, I chose to take my white dress and stomp in some puddles. And I kissed my new husband fiercely while other people ran inside from the storm. That day I stopped listening to what everyone else had to say. I look at my husband every day and I learn from him what it is to extend grace and hope and unconditional love. It is possible and it does exist.

vickie bio

Victoria describes herself as an outgoing introvert. She met her husband first on Twitter, then in the airport. They now live and work together on the East Coast where she works in mental health during the day as an aspiring writer at night. Half of her heart resides in Michigan, where she was born and raised. Connect with her on her blog and on Twitter.

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