wedded wednesday: It’s not about the wedding.

I’m no marriage counselor, but I am a friend and I believe it’s time we get talking about our marriages, our real life marriages. In that spirit, we chat about it here once a week, on Wedded Wednesdays.

Today’s a half day for both Mr. S. and me. Why? We’re going to a wedding! Yep, a wedding on a Wednesday afternoon. Some sweet friends are tying the knot right here in town and we’re excited to see them say I Do.

As this wedding has crept forward on the calendar, I’ve been reflecting on my own wedding planning. From the start, Mr. S. and I repeated a common refrain:

The quality of a wedding does not impact the quality of a marriage.

Frankly, Kim Kardashian made the case for this. Extravagant weddings don’t build extravagant love. Big flowers don’t symbolize big commitment. The length of the dress train doesn’t equate the length of a marriage.

Intrinsically, we get it. We know our marriage won’t be made bigger and better with a wedding that’s bigger and better. And yet, in our Pinterest-saturated, wedding blog-abundant world, it’s hard to stick to our convictions on this.

A wedding can be a beautiful launchpad for a future together. But that’s just it: a launchpad. A wedding doesn’t build a future.

For me and Mr. S., a paradigm shift took place as we began our wedding planning. The fact that we were paying for most of it helped immensely. Limited budgets for weddings, just like in every other part of life, allow you to decide what really matters.

And what really matters is different for every couple. Embrace that. Celebrate that.

What mattered to us, first and foremost, was the covenant we were building. I’ll share more about our wedding on future Wedded Wednesdays. But today, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do we defeat the world’s idea of a crazy-big wedding and trade it for crazy-big love?

(And on a related note, a sweet blogger friend of mine, Jess Constable Lively got married this week, in PARIS of all places! She’s sharing about the intentionality behind her wedding plans on her blog this week.)

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